Personal writing is something that I enjoy, but I don’t post everything, so there are more Notes that I have written. I don’t publish all of the Notes, because they would make me sound like a jerk*. But you can’t just sound like one… The reason why this website does not have my first name is exactly that – only people who know me or follow me know about it. Because not everyone needs to know I am a jerk.
A little incident that I experienced by the elevator a couple of days ago was funny, but also kind of disturbing. This woman (of quite an age, I have to mention) was leaving her apartment, and while closing the door she was telling some other woman inside not to touch the handles, her voice was shaking, she sounded so scared. She was all wrapped up in some virus protection equipment. I was waiting for the elevator, she didn’t see me. Then she turned around – I could tell I terrified her, she took a step back (we were already about 7 feet apart) and refused to go in the elevator with me. Yes, I was wearing a mask.
Such events make me curious of some people’s perception of death. Why are they so afraid to die? The worst that can happen because of the virus is death. But what is so scary? Life is a temporary deal anyways. It was given to us, it will be taken – by natural causes or some other way. No, it’s not that I am looking forward to die, but if I die, it’s ok, because that’s out of my control. I love life. I have lived. And lived to the fullest, because I love life. If the virus or something else kills me, well, then ok, call it a day. Now I will make a very jerky remark – the woman by the elevator has lived too, that’s why I mentioned the age in parenthesis. Ahhh nooo I am so cynical, this is extreme skepticism. Ufff…I. can’t believe I actually have these thoughts.
Meanwhile, the sun is up. And that no good, because the heat in the city kills me, and I only come out when the sun goes down. Funny enough, I am going to Miami in a week… Will probably seat in the pool. This will be a time of non- asceticism.
Jerk - a “smarty pants” type person who considers her/himself eligible to call people imbeciles, idiots, morons and question their adequacy and intelligence.