How do you smuggle daydreams into reality?

My good friend taught me a very useful exercise.

Well, I am a mess. It’s literally impossible to plan anything with me, as I have no plans in life. ‘Write down everything you want’ - she said. ‘If you just write it down, you will see that you do have a plan, it is important to have it in front of you, visually.’

I never though of it that way. But I did what she suggested. I took a pink piece of paper ( because I like pink color) and started writing. So many things came up. I realized I have quite a few goals in life. So I got pretty busy over the last few weeks. Now I wonder: Why? How come I didn’t know I want all those things before?

So…. Here is why:

If you imagine there is nothing. Nothing in between you and your dream/desire/wish? It is just a piece of paper, and you can write down anything you want - no obligation, no need to go and do it right this second. Then there is no fear or belief that you don’t deserve it or you are not good enough( strong/talented/young etc). Once you write it down, it’s all right here, in front of you, and achievable.

Writing it down makes you do it.

161222184418-maladaptive-daydreaming-2-exlarge-169.jpg

Armory

‘The true work of art is but a shadow of the divine perfection.’

Michelangelo

I have to say I loved Armory Show this year. Went there two times.

Looking at great art however sometimes makes me anxious. There is just almost too much talent all concentrated in one space and every artist deserves the glory. Greatest reward for an artist is when people buy their work.

I really tried to pick only one favorite piece in the whole show, but only managed to narrow it down to three. There was so many more though… Anyways, check those out, I am putting the names of the galleries where these pieces are at.

1.

Louise Bonnet

Arched Back Veiled Nude,2019

Oil on Linen

Nino Mier Gallery

piece+1+.jpg

Oh my. Really. This painting is absolutely captivating. Truly ‘My’ piece. So emotional and intense. Look at its curvaceous shapes, exaggerated proportions… make it so surrealistically feminine, intimate. This creature has so much character, though it’s lacking head and eyes. Its subtle colors create this feeling of mystery, like an illustration for some Dutch fairytale. This one figure opens up full artists’ universe.

2.

Jaume Plensa

Invisible Anna, 2016

Stainless steel

piece 2 .jpg

This sculpture is is quite big (63 x 40.2 x 41.3 in) and it is literally flying in the air. It is so delicate, light . Intellectual piece. These thin steel bars are So ephemeral, weightless. Felt almost like a product of imagination, really ‘invisible’.

3.

Carrol Dunham

Untitled,2011

Monotype in watercolor and pencil o Lanaquarelle paper

piece 3.jpg

It is easy to recognize his artwork. The composition is phenomenal. Really. Love everything about this piece, that it’s so rough, muscular. So intense. Aggressive but not violent, just right on the edge. Explicit, but not particularly sexual… Very unique matrix of space. Exceptional by remarkable artist.

How to

I get this question all the time. ‘How to let go of someone’. To me, the answer is simple: You can’t. The only way to go is acceptance. You just learn how to leave without them. Keep them in your heart, but knowing that you cannot be next to them. Going on with your life, achieving your goals. Being successful in what you do helps to fulfill the emptiness inside. It’s those hopes, that maybe there was chance, what if there was a chance that things didn’t end like this. This is what drags you down, not letting you move forward. 

Accepting that It just didn’t work out, whatever the reasons are. There is destiny. Life separated you apart. Not looking back, just acceptance.  


While flight is delayed

When I look at people who plan every single thing I clearly see that I could never do it. I mean, I don’t want to. 

Beauty of life is in its unpredictability. I see it as an adventure, a roller coaster. I don’t really take anything seriously. 

Be a good student, then get some guy and marry him, plan to go on vacay once in a while - to me, it’s is a waste of life. I like movement and constant changes. It’s kind of risky, to live like that, but I just can’t do otherwise. 

About mind

‘ Our Minds can be wonderful, but at the same time they can be our very worst enemy. They give us so much trouble. Sometimes I wish the mind were like a set of dentures, which we could take out and leave on our bedside table overnight. At least we would a break from its tiring and tiresome escapades. We are so at the mercy of our minds that even when we find that the spiritual teachings strike a chord inside us, and move us more than anything we have ever experienced, still we hold back, because of some deep-seated and inexplicable suspicion. Somewhere along the line, though we have to stop mistrusting. We have to let go of the suspicion and doubt, which are supposed to protect us but never work, and only end up hurting us even more than what they are supposed to defend us from.’

Sogyal Rinpoche, Tibetan Buddhist Contemporary Author


Recently I asked myself ‘What if I always gave it 100%?’. It seems to be almost impossible, because I spend way too much time thinking and not doing anything. Sounds absurd, but I feel like I really need to learn how do things without thinking. Just because I want and need to do something and I know it’s right. My head gives me a hard time overanalyzing everything and seeing things in detail.

‘Think before you do’ is what mom taught me. ‘Just do it. Before it’s too late’ that’s what I figured by now.

Reflection 3 - About Perception

Sometimes I think that nothing is real. Everything exists in perception and the only knowledge available to me is limited to my senses. Colors, textures, sizes - all is perception. Therefore, all I see is my subjective vision.

There are moments when I feel like it is all just a dream or a test, or a theatrical performance and my mind will transform into different materia as soon as I wake up and these filters of sensation come off. 

But I also think that i know more than I actually  know. You already know something before you find it out. I think that human mind has so much more innate knowledge than what we actually apply. 

Over the time I learned to trust my intuition a little more and listen to my inner voice. 

Reflection 2 - About Time

Live every day like your last - one day you will be right .

For some reason we all think we got time. Wasting is almost like drug addiction, when you know that your life has already started crumbling and you are gradually loosing manageability of it, and you promise yourself that today/this week/month is the last day of using and then you will stop…tomorrow…Everything is ok..yet… Work is fine, yet. But the substance keeps taking away from your young years and youth doesn’t seem endless anymore, and then in fact…you are already not even that young.

The time flies much faster than I expected. I was a fast girl. Things happened for me so quickly. After I got out of high school I wanted to experience everything immediately, like everyday was my last. ‘If you don’t try it, you are never gonna know’ - that’s my credo. I don’t understand really how in just a few short years I lost that ‘out of comfort zone’ capability.

Time is a commodity. I guess I just got hooked on wasting it, using it, selling it and running out of it... It is indeed addictive. Once you start, it’s hard to stop.